Breathe Lightly

nosenuzzling:

Author: nhixxie

Genre/Pairing: Angst/Destiel

Rating: T

Word Count: 28,560

Summary: ”To my first love, and my last, Dean Winchester. These are the things I want to tell you: the human body is 60% water. The number of neurons in one person is the rough equivalent of the number of stars in a small galaxy. There is 0.2 milligrams of gold in your blood. The heart is an elaborate engine. I love you.”

Snippit:

Hey, Cas.

“Yes?”

I care for you so fucking much, you know that, right?

I care so fucking much for you.

Cas laughs the loudest laugh, hands pressed against his face like he’s trying to keep the happiness from escaping into the open where it could dissipate into the air. He heaves oxygen into his lungs as ferociously as he would during times when his body struggles for more of it—only instead of fear, there are stars in his eyes.

“I know. Come home soon.”

At four o’clock in the morning, Dean pulls up on the driveway and rides the elevator to Cas’ floor. He walks to 340 and steps onto the footprints on the welcome mat.

At four o’clock in the morning, the door opens, and Cas smiles a true smile, and says hey.

At four o’clock in the morning, Dean embraces Cas and Cas embraces back, dried leaves and small pieces of bark pressed between each other’s chests.

At four o’clock in the morning, Cas says thank you.

At four o’clock in the morning, Dean kisses the top of Cas’ head and says you’re welcome.

At four o’clock in the morning,

At four o’clock in the morning,

At four o’clock in the morning.

My Notes: Oh gosh. You know, sometimes there are fics that just ruin you. Not in a bad way either. There are sad fics, there are heartbreaking fics, and then there are fics like this. Stories that are so sad and break you in a million different ways. But you feel so full of love by the end of it. Even with the sad ending, this story really captures what it means to love someone and really soak up as much as you can in the limited time you might have together. It’s almost ironic that it’s called Breathe Lightly because by the end of it I almost felt like I couldn’t breathe at all. It’s not even a roller coaster of emotions, it’s all the emotions at once. Read this in one sitting, it might not be very long but it feels infinite.