santahatcastiel:

Breathe Lightly by Nhixxie

Hello, Dean.

5hr 41min 12sec

2014/10/10.wav

File playing..

If you are listening to this at the 17th of October, then I know everything I told Anna has gone to plan. It means this message, the first to be heard and the last to be recorded, is given to you. By the time this draws to a stop, every person who comes up to this pedestal and presses play will hear a different recording. It will never be this. This is for you.

Dean, I think this is truly it.

I can see everything dwindle into smallness. I can feel a pull on my wrist, and there is a whisper of something forthcoming that is suspended overhead. I know what is about to come, so I watch you softly as you sleep instead, counting the rise and fall of your chest in my mind.

I stopped counting at 201.

Dean, to look at you is to look at all I will lose and all I will leave behind, and I am agonized by the thought. When I die, I am to be cheated of you. You have made me want lazy, fruitless Sundays. You’ve made me want sand underneath my feet and the ocean surrounding my knees. You’ve made me want things so much that I feel selfish; a sick little boy who has accepted the end of his story, but still bargaining for more time. Kubler-Ross must be spinning in his grave.

Dean.

Dean.

Dean.

I miss you terribly already, and I am still here.

I want to say your name over and over again so I can carry it over to wherever I’m going in the afterlife. If I am to cross the river Styx, I’ll whisper your name and the ferryman will take it, for it is worth all the gold in the world. I will leave this world a selfish man, for I will keep within myself all the pieces of you my dying heart could hold. I feel like there is so much I must tell you, yet I could not find my way out of the woods.

So, to my first love, and my last, Dean Winchester.

(Dean closes his eyes and presses a hand against his lips.)

These are the things I want to tell you.

The human body is 60% water.

The number of neurons in one person is the rough equivalent of the number of stars in a small galaxy.

There is 0.2 milligrams of gold in your blood, the heart is an elaborate engine—

I love you.

(Dean breathes out.)

And to the person who you will love in the future;

Love him infinitely more than I was able to.

5hr 55min 59sec

2014/10/10.wav

PLAYBACK FINISHED

This writing is not mine. just my voice. yeah. ;w; (also sorry for the bad quality i did this on my phone)